Celebrity Metaphors

If there could ever have been said to be an anticlimatic ending to anything, it could have been said about today’s Creative Writing class. Jolly humour with 5 minute dialogues being played out. Americans trying to sound British by using words such as brilliant, (short, just brill) smashing, marvellous to our general amusement. Some very low-core critiques were given. The Kinks’ ”Dedicated Follower of Fashion” was played and the Danes were accused of having gone on holiday or so it seemed. Terrible misunderstanding with the English Good Friday and the Danish, well-we-have-Thursday-off-too-because-it’s-a-great-night-for-drinking!

All this fun and we’re suddenly forced to see the facts. It’s week 12. We’ve come to the end of a terribly fascinating class. A very good run of culture clashes, stereotype thrashing, cliche-driven madness, under-the-belt acknowledgements,  weird fetish unveilings, lewd and bawdy laughs, insights, outsights and the grown-accustomed-to flaming face, (think blue!). And now we’re done. I spend nine pounds buying my teacher’s published book with a bittersweet inscription in it. I have the odd sensation to facebook said teacher when I get home.

So my trusty blog-readers, to end this amazing run I have a confession to make; there’s been many interesting writing exercises which I would readily recommend for anyone but it hasn’t been possible for me to include them all and frankly I didn’t do them all. Suffice to say, the course has created a modus operandi for me which has become, ”Oh, that’s very interesting, might put that on my blog!”) Therefore I only include the last exercise which incidentally can also be used as a party game.

So, I’m gonna list a lot of things/subjects, and the point of the game is to use these to describe a celebrity without ever saying his or her gender and name. Then everyone has to guess who you were thinking of. Other than being quite fun it also puts your creativity and general knowledge to a test when you finally say the name and people go, ”…. Ahh.” Let’s see how you fare.

Celebrity X:

Shoes: shoes with leathered patterns

Drink: Would be the kind of layered drink you’d make if you were really drunk at a party

Hat: Wooly and made by the Queen’s personal tailor

Building: The drawing room at Buckingham Palace

Garden: The Gardens of Versailles, endless and beautiful but certainly not straight!

Dessert: A fruit salad filled with interesting and exotic fruit

Room: They would insist on their library being The British Library

Clothes: Harrod’s, three-piece suits and unusual ties

Smell: Old books and sweets

Sport: The bat in cricket

Flower: A very big and vulgar red rose

Animal: Extinct

Weather: Sunny with a bit of thunder

Color: Rainbow

Car: Ridiculously expensive Rolls Royce Phantom

Movie: British television from the 80’s

Music: They would be like The Kinks’ ”Dedicated Follower of Fashion” (linky link, it’ll help!)

Noise: The pleasant voice on my alarm clock in the morning

Stationary: A phone book

Nationality: International

Go further down and get your ”…. ahh” moment.






Stephen Fry, please let me come to QI, you’d be a darling! Well, you are a darling!

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